A Christmas Story

The House that Jack Built

Stirling Newberry (Miscellany)

This is the house that Jack bought.

This is the mortgage that paid for the house that Jack bought.

This is the fraud, that the mortgage processor committed to get the loan, that paid for the house that Jack bought.

This is the bank, that dished off the loan, that was obtained by fraud, to pay for the house that Jack bought.

This is the quant, who sliced up the loan, by fudging the numbers, so he could take the dished loan, that was obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, the Jack bought.

This is the dealer, who without checking the numbers, shipped off the tranches, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, that was obtained by fraud, to pay for the house that Jack bought.

This is the monoliner, that papered the tranches, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house that Jack bought.

This is the investment bank, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house that Jack bought.

This is hedge fund, that sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is the tax break, that fed to the hedge fund, that sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is the War, that ate up the money, that ballooned out the deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is the downturn, that followed the War, that ate up the money, that ballooned out the deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is the takedown, that accelerated the downturn, that followed the War, that ate up the money, that ballooned out the deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is the pink slip, because of the Takedown, that accelerated the downturn, that followed the War, that ate up the money, that ballooned out the deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is Jack's layoff, that is on the pink slip, because of the Takedown, that accelerated the downturn, that followed the War, that ate up the money, that ballooned out the deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is the foreclosure, brought on by Jack's layoff, that is on the pink slip, because of the Takedown, that accelerated the downturn, that followed the War, that ate up the money, that ballooned out the deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is the Fed, that bollixed the policy, to deal with the foreclosure, brought on by Jack's layoff, that is on the pink slip, because of the Takedown, that accelerated the downturn, that followed the War, that ate up the money, that ballooned out the deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is the Congress, that backed up the Fed, that bollixed the policy, to deal with the foreclosure, brought on by Jack's layoff, that is on the pink slip, because of the takedown, that accelerated the downturn, that followed the War, that ate up the money, that ballooned out the deficit, caused by the tax breaks, that fed to the hedge fund, sold the Default Swap, that securitized the the foreclosure, shipped off by the dealer, with the the quant's fudged up numbers, from the dished out loan, obtained by fraud, to pay for the house, that Jack bought.

This is Bush, they still let him fuck things up. Maybe it would have been different if he had been impeached. We will never know, now will we.

I don't know about you, but Jack is looking pretty fucked right now.

h/t DownWithTyranny